This week, while teaching my Public Speaking class (yes- I am still teaching my class/club after 15 years), I learned… or maybe relearned… a really valuable lesson…
As I was going through my usual ploy…
- How long have we been communicating…
- How long are we going to be communicating…
- The Art of Communication a life skill…
- Why is learning how to communicate important…
- Yadda, yadda, yadda… I had a light bulb moment!!
FLASH!!! Something I am sure I have mentioned numerous times… but something hit differently…
Communication takes two people!!
Wait! In this world of AI… Did you understand? That sounds incredibly simple. Of course it does. But stop and really think about it… Communication isn’t an individual thing.
We sometimes teach public speaking as though it is all on the person effectively communicating… Stand up straight. Make eye contact. Project your voice. Organize your thoughts. Don’t say “um.” Know your material. Practice, practice, practice.
Those things matter. But they’re only half of the equation.
There is another person on the other side!! You could be doing all those things… but that isn’t actually communication UNLESS you have someone receiving your words, thoughts, idea, etc!!
Someone is listening!! Someone is watching. Someone is trying to understand you. Someone is deciding whether to lean in, whether to trust you, whether to laugh with you, whether to believe you, whether to respond.
Communication is a two-way street!! And maybe that’s exactly why it can be so hard. And that is what creates championship speakers… they connected!!
Isn’t this the thing communicators want? Connection!! People desperately want to connect. We live in a world full of people trying to connect. We text. We post. We comment. We send pictures. We make videos. We follow each other. We collect friends, followers, likes, shares, and views. We have more ways to communicate with one another than perhaps any generation before us.
But are we actually connecting?
- There is a difference between being seen and being known.
- There is a difference between talking and communicating.
- There is a difference between presenting an image of yourself and actually allowing someone to see YOU!!
I have a word for that.
GENUINITY.
Yes, I know. I made it up. But I love it.
Genuinity is that quality that makes someone feel real. It’s authenticity without trying so hard to be authentic. It’s allowing your personality, your passion, your humor, your convictions, your quirks, and even some of your imperfections to come through.
Because people want to see YOU.
Just this weekend while at a wedding, the best man was stewing over his speech. He told me, “I’m not funny.” I gave him my word- genuinity. Be yourself. Allow people to see you, see your heart, be genuine!! Think about the speakers you enjoy listening to. Chances are, it isn’t because every sentence is perfectly constructed. It isn’t because they never stumble over a word. It isn’t because their hand gestures are flawless.
There’s something about them that makes you feel like they are talking to you, not performing at you.
You believe them.
You connect with them.
You see a person.
That’s genuinity.
And suddenly, public speaking becomes about something much bigger than giving a good speech. It becomes a connection between two people, or a speaker and a small group, a communicator and an audience.
Communication is a life skill.
Actually, it might be the life skill.
Think about it- we begin communicating before we can even speak. Before we’re born, we’re already responding to voices, sounds, movement, and touch. Then we enter the world and cry. We reach. We smile. We point. We make sounds. Eventually, those sounds become words.
Then sentences.
Then conversations.
Then friendships.
Relationships.
Arguments.
Apologies.
Questions.
Stories.
“I love you.”
“I need help.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Can we talk?”
“This matters to me.”
Communication becomes woven into virtually every part of who we are. And hopefully, we never stop getting better at it. That’s another thing I want my students to understand: You aren’t finished becoming a communicator.
Neither am I. We can continue to grow…
We can become better listeners. We can learn to explain ourselves more clearly. We can learn when to speak and when to be quiet. We can become more comfortable looking someone in the eye. We can learn how to disagree without destroying a relationship. We can become more aware of the person across from us. We can learn to ask better questions. We can notice when someone isn’t understanding us and try another way. We can develop passion… the willingness to share…
And perhaps most importantly, we can become brave enough to be genuine!!!
Because good communication isn’t about becoming someone else.
It isn’t about creating the perfect speaker.
It’s about becoming a better version of the communicator you already are.
I don’t want a classroom full of students who all speak exactly alike. I don’t want them to memorize the “right” gestures, use the same inflections, tell the same kinds of stories, or imitate the person who won the tournament last year.
- I want to hear them.
- I want the funny kid to be funny.
- I want the thoughtful kid to make us think.
- I want the quiet student to discover that quiet doesn’t mean powerless.
- I want the passionate student to learn how to channel that passion so other people can hear it.
- I want the nervous student to discover that courage doesn’t mean never being nervous.
- I want them to learn the tools of communication so those tools help reveal who they are—not hide who they are.
Because communication makes us who we are… as long as we are doing it with another PERSON (not AI;). It shapes our relationships. It shapes how we handle conflict. It shapes the way we advocate for ourselves and others. It shapes how we lead, love, teach, learn, encourage, persuade, forgive, and understand. And none of that happens alone.
Communication takes two.
There is you. And there is the person in front of you. The goal isn’t simply to get your words out. The goal is to build a bridge between the two. Sometimes that bridge is built through a great speech. Sometimes it’s a conversation at the dinner table. Sometimes it’s asking one more question instead of assuming. Sometimes it’s listening when you’d rather respond. Sometimes it’s admitting, “That’s not what I meant. Can I try again?” And sometimes it’s simply having the courage to let another person see the real you.
Maybe that’s what I want my Public Speaking students to understand more than anything else. Yes, learn to speak. Learn to organize your thoughts. Learn to stand confidently. Learn to tell a story. Learn to defend an idea. Learn to use your voice.
But don’t learn to perform your way through life.
Learn to connect.
Be present.
Listen.
Keep growing.
And bring some genuinity with you.
Because in a world full of people desperately trying to connect, perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give another person is something remarkably simple: Our genuine selves… and the willingness to genuinely see them, too.
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Heather Neumann is an author, playwright, and nationally recognized speech coach who has worked with thousands of students and coached dozens of Speech Champions. She is the author of The Ultimate Guide to Interpretive Speech and Lasting Impact’s Speech Grab and Go, as well as multiple stage adaptations, including Light in the Darkness, inspired by Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, A Christmas Carol, Pride and Prejudice, and many more. Her plays, as well as her award winning scripts can be found in the SHOP. Her work centers on meaningful storytelling, clarity of interpretation, and as always, a lasting impact!
Heather finds deep joy in working with performers, helping them discover their voice and the power it carries to impact the world. With a gift for transforming timeless literature into accessible and compelling dramas for students and adults of all ages. Heather’s work is infused with purpose, beauty, and grace. Her greatest delight is in revealing the love of the Father through every performance. She treasures her faith, her family, and the way theater and speech and debate can draw hearts closer to Jesus.
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